I think I may be a pathetic person.

"You shouldn't look for love if you can't handle the pain"
Her gaze trned from attentive to engrossed. She was genuinely invested in my thoughts and feelings; it felt good. But it certainly wasn't enough. I wanted more than to just sit here and explain why I'm okay with her not sharing my feelings. The reality of the matter, too, was that I wasn't okay. In the parking lot of a shitty Dunkin' Donuts, she kissed me. We made out and I loved it. For what I know, she loved it. Or so I thought. I'm now a wreck, thinking about her at every given moment and to her... as far as she tells me, I mean nothing. That kiss was trivial to her, but it meant everything to me.
Women can really be so evil.
"I'm sorry... really."
"For?" I asked with a ratherfeigned buy joyous tone.
"Giving you hope for something that's just not there."
At least she's honest.
We sat there for a while, silently mulling over nothing. I wasn't thinkin of whatto say next-- I didn't care about what to say next. All I wanted to do wa kiss her again and hold hr close.
But that wasn't happening.
"Why don't we just say goodnight?"
I thought about it for a second then agreed. As her beady eyes locked into mine and her arms extended to grab me, I felt so alone. It was deception in its cruelest form.
"I still care about you... a lot," she said wth her arms around me. "Please don't let things change."
That'sthe problem with change: you can't control it.

Et ducit mundum per luce.

She hid around corners
She hid under beds.
She killed it with kisses
And from it she fled.

Do you ever want to reveal the secret that is tickling your throat, pushing you forward, but will die as soon as it slips from your mouth?

Do you ever want to fucking scream at someone, simultaneously wanting to keep the breath bound within your chest with all your might?


I pray to God this breath will last as it pushes past my lips.